Olena Kalynychenko was looking forward to sharing the chrysanthemum tea she had bought in China with her partner.
“She said, ‘When I come back home, we will drink the tea made from Chinese flowers,’” said Oles Visich, Kalynychenko’s partner. He has now been waiting for news about her for a month, after she and thousands of others disappeared in catastrophic flooding along the Nepal-China border.
Her last known location was exiting China at a border post at 10:22 a.m. local time, 15 minutes before the flood.
Kalynychenko, 36, was part of a group of 56 people, mostly Ukrainians, who had traveled to Mount Kailash in Tibet for a spiritual retreat.
Their families' situation is a sign of how complex and time-consuming the process is of rescuing, recovering and identifying victims lost to the disaster. Given the number of missing, the process will likely take months.
They disappeared while heading from China to Nepal on their way home. Some relatives say they have received no information from authorities. The Chinese government has told at least two families that their relatives left Chinese territory before the flood struck, but they haven't been able to confirm whether they entered Nepal as Nepal's immigration complex and its records were destroyed in the floods.
Little information is reaching families
The floods killed more than 1,400 people and left more than 6,000 missing, most of them on the Nepali side of the border. Nepal has said that 636 foreign nationals remain missing, including 54 Ukrainians. China has reported 261 foreign nationals among the missing on its side, including one Ukrainian.
Families in Ukraine say most of them have not received any answers since realizing their relatives were among the missing.
“We only have the statistics that are being posted online — how many people have been found, how many are alive, how many are dead, and how many are still missing,” said Stanislav Solohub, whose brother and sister-in-law went missing on Aug. 25.
Nepal says it has recovered 1,451 bodies, but only 112 have been handed over to families so far.
The government said it has collected DNA samples from 2,035 relatives so far, but it has not disclosed how many victims have been identified.
Last messages were sent minutes before the floods began
The group, led by Irina Blonskaya, a spiritual teacher who often organized retreats, was returning from its journey home in China when the flood struck Aug. 26. Their plan was to travel by bus from the Tibet region to Kathmandu, where its members would board flights to their respective countries. The group’s last message was sent at 8:27 a.m. Nepal time, about 10 minutes before the mountain slope collapsed.
Many had not checked in with their loved ones that morning, owing to the time difference.
Authorities have said the were triggered when a section of ice and rock broke away from a Himalayan mountain slope, creating a fast-moving torrent of water, ice, mud and debris. It destroyed communities and Gyirong Port, a border crossing used by some pilgrims traveling to or returning from Mount Kailash.
‘Who is looking for them?’
Vladsylava Horlova’s mother, Elena, was traveling in the group as well. She initially found her mother’s name of the list of the missing from the Nepali government, but hasn't received any further information from the Nepali side. Later, the Chinese embassy confirmed her mother had left the country, and was not counted in China's list of missing people.
Horlova, a college student who is a refugee in Norway, worries her mother wasn't in either country when the flood struck. There’s a stretch of road between the Nepali immigration building and the Chinese one along the border, videos from travelers show.
“You think about what if someone appeared to be in a no man’s land or that they left China, but not physically, who’s looking for them?” she asked.
Horlova has attempted to contact organizations ranging from the Ukrainian embassy in China, to Norwegian police, and even the Red Cross. She, like the others, have submitted their DNA samples to police to help the search.
On the other side of the border, China has said that when the remains of foreigners are identified, it will notify their respective embassies, but the authorities have not given any details about how many identities have been confirmed so far.
People still have hope
Though it has been a month since the original disaster, some families are still holding on to hope.
Just days before Kalynychenko left for her travels, she organized a retreat for women in Ukraine whose partners were fighting on the front lines of the war, some of whom had not heard from their partners for two years.
Visich, her partner, sees the irony of his situation, but like others in the group, has chosen to stay positive. Visich, also a psychologist, wrote a support guide for others like himself, offering tips on mental health.
“Because for my Olenka, for example, the most important thing in our connection, that each other … needs to be happy,” Visich said.